Relationships, Marriage Poll

parenting poll

How would you handle this parenting issue? (You can select more than one answer)

Do nothing--it's not that big of a deal anyway. Relax--my kid's done a lot worse.
4%
Give her back the DVD after explaining why her behavior was wrong. Wrong! Do you hear me?
24%
Keep the DVD and explain why she'll never have Santa visit her again.
1%
Make her give the DVD to a charity. Like PETA.
12%
Make her write an apology to Grandma and Grandpa.
75%
Take away DVD privileges for a while--no more princesses period!
28%
Give her coal in her stocking for the rest of her life.
0%
A good ol' fashioned whupping. That will help her remember not to do it again.
3%
Something I haven't been smart enough to think of?
5%

Created on Dec 28, 2007

Closed

Total Votes: 249

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Comments (8):

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comments 1 - 8 of 8

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 12:45 AM by rosannepm:

I've raised 4 sons. 29,26,23 and16. They all turned out to be stellar men. When the oldest one went into Iraq in 2003, 2004 and 2006 I regretted every time I had been angry with him as a child. He survived, came home was divorced and has two daughters. My advice to mothers is to LOVE your children as much as possible and yell less. You will never have any regrets. I too was embarassed so many times by my childrens behavior. But they are CHILDREN and your little daughter is 5 years old. Put the DVD in the player for her to watch while her cousins played with their presents. She would have been enchanted. Then when she is calm explain how Grandma spent her time and money and her feelings were hurt and when she was less cranky to have her tell grandma she is sorry. I am now unable to see my grandaughters much due to my sons divorce and I would give my right arm to have her in my presence and throwing a DVD. I have not seen my 7 year old granddaughter in a year and a half. Stop worrying what people think. She will turn out FINE.

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 2:43 AM by heidiho:

I think what is really important in this case is to teach your daughter about gifts. They aren't something you earn, they are something given to you with unconditional love. We all talk about wanting to teach our children the right lessons about gifts, then turn around and use them as ammunition to get what we want. (I hate to say it, sometimes me included!)

I think you should sit down with her and help her to understand that Grandma loves her very much and put a lot of time and love into finding the "perfect" gift for her. That although she didn't necessary like the actual gift, when she looks at that DVD she should remember that Grandma loves her, unconditionally, even if she acted poorly on Christmas. That is the greatest gift of all.

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:06 AM by notfainthearted:

I know this is just my own baggage, but I would add to what heidiho said. And that is before having your daughter talk with Grandma about the incident (a spoken apology?) PREP Grandma.

I remember pitching a similar fit about a sweater. Sadly, I was a lot older than 5 and was avoiding close fitting clothes to camouflage my less than developed body. When I apologized I was treated to a diatribe instead of an example of how to forgive. Not saying your Mom/MIL would do that, just reminding folks that it's not just 5 year olds who can loose their stuff around the holidays.

Good luck!!

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:36 AM by utahnatalie:

I voted that you need to make her write an apology to Grandma and Grandpa. But I also voted other, because I think you need to sit her down and explain to her that when we buy other people presents that we really try and think about the person that we are buying the present for and then get them a gift that we think that they will like. If you give a person a gift and they don't like it and they let you know just how much they don't life it it really makes us (the giver) feel bad. It really hurts your feelings.

On a side note I wish that my husbands Mother would have done this for him because now as a 32 year old man, I have had to do this for him in more of an adult way and explain that when I get him a gift it is very well thought out and planned so if he isn't overly thrilled please don't make it so obvious. LOL...my husband really is a great man. One the best in the whole world.

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:33 PM by gmam:

I agree with Utah Natalie that a good talking to is in order. Writing an apology is a good idea, however, sending it to them rules out her having to sand tall and admit her mistke, and then she would miss being able experience their forgiveness. It's like when a child (who shall remain nameless) took a pack of gum, and he/she was required to returnit to the store manager personally. Having to fess up to what we have done helps us to grow up. Maybe she should be required to watch it a dozen times in a row, enough to get sick of it. Well, maybe not!!

Posted on Jan 1, 2008 at 11:00 AM by penelopeanne:

OKay, first she must apologize for her rude behavior and insult to Grandma. I think she should be given the movie, she is young and it is understandable to want to play with something when everyone else can. I remember these types of situations from my childhood....but the gifts were worse.

Don't be too hard.

Posted on Jan 1, 2008 at 1:44 PM by scribbit:

Thanks so much for all these ideas--it really helps!

Posted on Jan 4, 2008 at 3:36 AM by momof4:

I'm not clear if her Grandmother lives in town or was just visiting. But if she is living in town, here is my idea. Ask your daughter to write a "Thank you/ invitation". In it have her invite her to a girls day. While having time together they can sit and watch the video together.

And for future events where gift giving is involved go over the rules of behavior before you go in. We had to do this with our 6 year old. She's know to have what we call "PMS". We told her NO, crying, pouting etc. Be happy with what ever you get. Like the old eating thing, "some kids don't have anything", so be happy with whatever you get.

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