• Smashed his phone on the floor, just like he threatened to do.
  10%
• Prayed to God in the hopes He'd take a minute away from making the sun rise to help out.
  2%
• Called someone who may actually care, like AT&T or Apple.
  47%
• Replaced the P.O.S. with an Android.
  19%
• Taken a couple of Xanax, followed by an hour of yoga.
  19%

Closed

Total Votes: 429

• Of course. You should be able to name your child "Pork 'n' Beans" for all I care.
  22%
• Sure, as long as they're not teaching little Adolf to kill perfectly innocent human beings.
  22%
• I mean, at least it's not "Buttholio" or "Sir Farts A Lot."
  4%
• No! You're sick if you name your child after a mass murderer.
  50%

Closed

Total Votes: 785

• Yes! John Lennon taught me that we can change the world if we stick together.
  9%
• Sure. If it worked for Egypt, it can work for us.
  8%
• Maybe. If enough people ban together...
  15%
• Doubtful. Nothing's going to change. I'm moving to Europe.
  15%
• No. Those whiners are wasting their time.
  43%
• I don't care. I'm rich.
  7%

Closed

Total Votes: 500

• Thrilled, so long as I have health insurance to pay for my monthly Paxil prescription.
  10%
• I'm perma-goth, and I like it. I never smile, and I only wear black.
  5%
• I'll let you know after tonight's Lottery numbers.
  6%
• I'm trying to make ends meet. I'm not miserable, but I'm not living the dream, either.
  52%
• It varies. If my cat dies, of course I'm miserable. If I get laid, I'm on cloud 197.
  14%
• My life is awesome! I'm happier than a NASCAR fan in Daytona!
  10%

Closed

Total Votes: 677

• Yes. I was looking forward to never having to see Snooki's stupid face again.
  20%
• A little disappointed. It would have been nice to live in sin and not be bothered.
  22%
• No, only because I'm a member of the Beer of the Month Club, and we're still on month 10.
  6%
• Not at all. My life is AWESOME.
  28%
• The world was supposed to end?
  22%

Closed

Total Votes: 359

• "Don't panic, America, but there is only one sure way to kill a zombie..."
  18%
• "An asteroid is headed straight for Earth, and our only hope is a ragtag crew of oil drillers."
  11%
• "Check it out: I'm about to blow your mind with my awesomeness."
  11%
• "Donald Trump, you're fired."
  19%
• "We've found the cure for hate and it is love. All you need is love."
  6%
• "America is going out of business. 75% off all monuments!"
  15%
• "It's true, I am a secret communist cyborg community organizer."
  8%
• "Something terrible is about to happen and it rhymes with 'puke-lear'."
  16%
• "Vice President Joe Biden personally led a special forces team of Navy SEALS in Pakistan..."
  18%

Closed

Total Votes: 706

• Of course! My crumpets and funny bird hat are ready in honour of the royal Brits.
  13%
• Maybe, in the hopes something cool happens, like Kate squirting impromptu diarrhea on the guests.
  8%
• No. I'd rather pick my cuticles and watch them bleed.
  52%
• There's a wedding this weekend?
  25%

Closed

Total Votes: 387